I got to know the Stogsdill's after Rue & Rusty were wed (I have forgotten when). I immediately fell in love with my irreverent son-in-law & knew he would fit right in with this bunch, especially since he was crazy about Rue's only son, Drew. Shortly following that, I received a t/c from his mom, Barbara (love that name) Jane, stating, the cafe's open, come on down! You who know me know that it took no arm twisting or begging - they just live down the street (6th sense again)! I stepped into their precious home for the first time. A smaller house, at least by today's standards, but BJ has it tastefully decorated with something in every nook & cranny that either she has made, or someone else has given her. It is truly a home filled with love. Pictures, books, creations she has sewn, the piano near the front door, cards from friends to Pop who has been ill for many years; I was overwhelmed with all that she did & she served such a meal. I had heard of her cooking skills & she had to cook almost 2 meals because Pop was what is known as a brittle diabetic. She sat the food on the table, took care of his many needs, put him in his wheel chair, brought him to the table & we ate. Although he couldn't communicate audibly due to a stroke, he had a way of communicating. He always teased me, pointing & shaking his finger at me.
Pop's first wife died with breast cancer & left him with 2 children. He was a General Baptist preacher. Rusty, a natural comedian, has told us stories that has had us in stitches about being a pk. Pop was also an accomplished pianist as is BJ. She was in a singing group out of the St. Louis area known as the McFarland Sisters. I can remember hearing them from my childhood at some revival services. So, Doyle & BJ met & wed, had Rodney & August (Rusty) that makes 4. At that time, Pop would work in St. Louis during the week, they would load up the car on weekends, come to this area, preach & sing at various locations.
Many smaller churches (at least back in the day) didn't pay very much at all, some folks who lived in the areas where they ministered didn't have much money to give. Many of them literally paid in donations other than money. (chickens, butter, garden supplies) Rusty said that BJ would pack up those horrendous matching leisure suits for the kids (she made every stitch of clothing for all the kids, she still makes practically everything to this day including her jeans which amazes me - excellent seamstress w/o benefit of a fancy sewing machine). She worked at home raising the family & he made the living. They were called to the pastorate at the GB Church in Bell City. It actually had a parsonage! By that time, only Rod & Rusty were still at home.
Sometime during this time frame, Pop had a debilitating stroke. He lost his ability to speak, became wheel chair bound, & for the past 2 plus years, has been on dialysis 3 times per week, going to Poplar Bluff for treatment/s which lasted for 4 hrs. each time. I have watched BJ as she ministered to his needs in awe & amazement. It was love in action; you should have seen him smile at her & though he couldn't hear her, she would write him notes on a board she kept near. I wish people who think they are "passionately in love" & just can't live w/o illicit sex could observe a couple such as this for a while. Every time I went there for a meal, the 3 of us held hands & talked to God & Rhonda said this past Thanksgiving, Pop said the blessing - not that anyone but God could understand all that was said, but she said it was a very moving experience & one that his grandchildren would never forget.
I understand the grief of Pop's family, because I have walked that path, yet when I got the news tonight, I looked heavenward & said, Thank you, Lord. When I visited with Pop last evening, he looked at me as we held hands & I'm reasonably certain he knew who I was. All he could do was smile ever so slightly as we shared a prayer. I so look forward to being with him when we can talk together, understand each other, I can hear him play the piano, (I have only heard him on a recording & he was very, very good) he played by "ear", a talent I so envy, so I'm signed up for that class with him, so we can dine together at that sumptuous banquet table, both eat every morsel we want, he won't have to worry about sugar amounts, & I won't have to worry about weight gain. Best of all, he will be walking tall once more!
I thank you, God, for the privilege of having known Doyle Stogsdill; that he was one of your faithful, loyal shepherds during his sojourn. I thank You that he has been relieved of the pain of this world, that he is in a place full of joy, life, peace, beauty, glory, wonder, newness, best of all, God! Sis, I know this is a sad week for you; life has these times. Tomorrow would have been your dad's 69th & now you face saying your earthly goodbyes to Rusty's dad. Try to remember that we, too, will wake up some day & be home with them. Love you Doyle, Ken, & all the rest! Practice on that golden Steinway, maybe there's hope for my piano playing with you teaching me! See you, soldier! Eternal love, Barb
1 comment:
wonderful tribute!
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